do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
