and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
