so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
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dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
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My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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