I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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