So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
