Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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