Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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