using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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