it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
