I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i wish my penis had a tongue
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
