She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I forget how to act sober
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
