And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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