They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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