I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
