She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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