My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
