Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Small penises have feelings too.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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