WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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