it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
