yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i now understand why vodka
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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