Just look for the house with the beer knights.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
