SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
