Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
