Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
