well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
