We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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