i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
