After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
this will be a night to untag.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
