but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
