Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
