i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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