Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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