People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
