I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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