no, he came in my armpit
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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