Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think i got beer on your cat.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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