Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
