No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
