Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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