I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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