Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
