moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
