guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
