Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
this hospital has no fireball
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
