i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize