the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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