he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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