Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
