k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
