Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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