also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
