Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
