Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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