This girl is more easily done than said...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
