just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
