Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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